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This is my first post, so bare with me. I know You don’t expect perfection, but I want to do my best. There is something I’d like to talk to You about, something You already know as I type this, but it’s new to me :)
First of all, I’m sorry we haven’t talked lately. Well, I ask You for things, but I don’t really just talk to You. This is why I’m starting this post. I wanted to catch up with You, and set things straight. It’s just me and You on here, and it will stay that way. I want this to be a prayer blog. I want all of my thoughts on here to be focused on You. I’m tired of being so complacent with my faith, so I had to do something different. I want to know You more, and I want to feel Your presence at all times. Sometimes I feel like I try to do things on my own, but it’s worthless. I’ve put You on the backburner, and I’m sorry. Please forgive me.
I figured this would be the best way to keep my prayer life in order. I’m usually always on the computer, and I’m usually most stressed when I am here, usually doing homework or taking a test when there is crappy internet reception (thanks for getting me through that). The internet is usually pretty reliable, and I can access it most places, so it will be interesting.
I was listening to Bluetree’s song Life’s Noises today, and it really made me think about the earthquake in Haiti. My heart is burdened about the people down there and all the tragedy, but I don’t feel like I’m hurting as much as I should. I know that You work all things together for good, but I know I should weep for the souls of those people, but I don’t. Help me to realize that those people need You, Lord. I feel like I am sheltered and naiive to really understand the tragedy. Give me a window in which I may serve those people. I know You can do anything, and I know You can plan something for me that I could never comprehend. I have already seen You do so much in my life already, like the paths You’ve cleared for me. And now I pray for a path for Haiti. I know You do not hate those people, You love them and You want them to be saved. You want them to know Jesus, but being here in Lynchburg, Virginia, I feel helpless. I guess the best I can do is pray. Pray for those people, and pray for the help that is already down there.
I Kings 19:11&12 —
The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.”
God, this passage really spoke to me today. I know I’ve read it before, but wow. It is SO TRUE. I know I’ve been waiting for this big booming sign from You after I ask for closeness with You, but sometimes it is just a whisper. I guess this causes us to keep listening. It would be easy to go about our day and hear Your guidance if it came over the intercom in our heads, but instead, You call us to listen closely. It’s such a beautiful thing. I know sometimes I get wrapped up in my life’s noise, such as Chad, homework, the dorm, and other things that I sturuggle with and spend my time worrying about. But I have forgotten that You speak in a small still voice. If I am serious about my relationship with You, I HAVE to concentrate on listening for Your voice. I almost feel like its like a tv that is turned way low, and if I do concentrate entirely on making out the words, I can hear it, but the moment I allow to entertain the noises around me, it’s like my hearing is lost. I know it’s a crappy illustration, but You don’t mind, do You? You obviosuly know exactly what I’m talking about.
Thank you for giving me another chance at this. And keep whispering in my ear. Help me to recognize Your voice among the other noises in my life. Help the Haitian people with the loss of their population. Help them to see You through all of this. Help the people down there who are doing their best to give relief. When the organizations begin to pull out and leave Haiti with rotting bodies and demolished buildings, please allow a whole new group of people to come in and help. Let them hear your whisper to go down there and help in the relief. Or, send me, I’m willing to do it for You. Jesus, You have already done more that I ever ever ever deserve, so if Haiti is where You want me, I’ll go. Or I’ll just pray for the people who help.
I love You. Talk to You later.